Preposterous Statements August/September, 2009

I am a fan of ‘The Common Man’ Dan Cole’s “progrum” on KFAN. He has this bit that collects preposterous statements from sports journalists and others over the year, and then sets them in a March Madness NCAA tournament bracket. Each day for the last couple of weeks he has a had a poll for each matchup you can vote on and the winner advances. (Listen to this to get a sample of what I am talking about).

To shamelessly copy this bit, I am in the process of collecting the most preposterous statements I read on blogs and newspapers, and at the end of the year I am going to form a bracket and devise a poll for YOU the readers to vote on. Here are the picks for July.

68. The issues of concern related to the TNIV remain. For the sake of the Gospel, we must hope and pray that we do not confront these same issues in the updated NIV. At the same time, we must avoid reckless talk.—Al Mohler

Doesn’t “reckless talk” include saying that the Gospel is at stake in TNIV debate? This is the kind of alarmism that made the whole controversy divisive in the first place.

69. He spoke both of the long list of public accomplishments that will likely gain Ted Kennedy recognition as the greatest Senator in American history—Jim Wallis

Oh please!

70. As many remarked over the course of this amazing weekend, Ted Kennedy was the classic American success story—Jim Wallis

Just like all those other extravegantly wealthy Ivy Leauge educated family dynasties from the East Coast. American as Apple Pie and Chevrolet!

71. But most of all, they are freaked by an amorphous feeling that they America they imagined they were living in–Sarah Palin’s fantasy America–is a different place now, changing for the worse, overrun by furriners of all sorts: Latinos, South Asians, East Asians, homosexuals…to say nothing of liberated, uppity blacks.—Joe Klein

Joe seems to like the word “they.”

72. But, fair or not, what I heard was an unspoken word in the air: You lie, boy!—Maureen Dowd

If you can imagine it, it must be true!

73. The Liberalism that controls the Democratic Party is more wicked than the world view that dominated the Nazis—Blue Collar Todd

So if Obama and Hitler were running against each other it would be better to have Hitler?

74. I suggest, in the finest American tradition, we protest this absurd and deplorable act [arresting Roman Polanski] by smashing our cuckoo clocks, pawning our Swiss watches, and banning Swiss cheese and chocolate.–Joan Z. Shore

That sounds like a fine American tradition to me!

Past Preposterous Statements:

1. When more women are out about their atheism, it will help other women to be confident in their views. And when that gender shift starts to happen, all of the single atheist men and women will have us to thank when they find their life partner at one of our events. –Crystal Dervetski of Minnesota Atheists

2. Since I am a “five-pointer” and a “conservative,” I live with some suspicion among my bretheren. —Tim Sturch commenting on Challies.com

3. [Tom] Daschele is a [perpetrator] and victim of the system, which Christian professionals help enable. —Joe Carson commenting on The New Christians

4. A failure to act, and act now, will turn crisis into a catastrophe. —Barack Obama on passing the stimulus package.

5. “The symbolism of the delay suggested that Obama intends to continue to poach constituencies that were once reliably Republican.”– E.J. Dionne praising, as an act of bipartisan outreach, the one-day delay of Obama’s executive order to end the ban on funding abortions abroad.

6. I want God to hate me like a man does… —Mark Nikirk from the BHT commenting on feminist theology.

7. You can’t help laughing at a goodly number of the gags. —Doug Geivett on reasons to like “Pink Panther 2”

8. I think soon the Obama Administration will start punishing those who do good and rewarding evil.–Blue Collar Todd commenting on Between Two Worlds.

9. Ignoring Facebook friends and promoting terrorism might seem like a strange connection, but hear me out. Both attitudes are based on the same self-centered attitude.–Julie Clawson from One Hand Clapping.

10. For many people, economic recovery means “getting back to where we were a few months or years ago.” That means recovering our consumptive, greedy, unrestrained, undisciplined, irresponsible, and ecologically and socially unsustainable way of life.–Brian McLaren

11. There are many reasons why VHS is vastly superior to DVD…–Adam Omelianchuk posting on 20 Times Around the Block.

12. In this week’s town hall meetings, President Obama demonstrated an important aspect of his office: Pastor-in-Chief.–Diana Butler Bass posting on God’s Politics.

13. I feel like I can serve the people in a good way now because I have all kinds of insights that virtually no one has. —Rod Blagojevich

14.“I know bipartisanship when I see it.”–Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina

15. The problem with evangelicalism is the fact that a great majority of them are not saved. (like Oprah)–Louis commenting on JesusCreed.com

16. If we do not have an economic recover package 500 million Americans lose their jobs. —Nancy Pelosi

17. Until you’ve . . . eaten with a chimp and bathed with a chimp, you don’t know a chimp–Sandra Herold quoted in the New York Post.

18. This blog post killed a three year old little boy. —Julie Clawson posting on One Hand Clapping.

19. Whether it was the religious leaders who paid Judas 30 pieces of silver to deliver up our Savior, or the German clergy who found hope in the visage of Germany’s new leader named Hitler and who refused to decry his slaughter of the Jews, or whether it was the Orthodox clergy in Russia who worked, hand in hand, with the KGB to round up believers worshiping in apartments who obeyed God rather than men, or whether it is the emerging left apostates who cheerlead the most virulently pro-child killing President in US history, they are all the same underneath.–Ingrid Schlueter


20.
“As soon as I took office, I asked this Congress to send me a recovery plan by Presidents Day that would put people back to work and put money in their pockets, not because I believe in bigger government — I don’t.–Barack Obama’s speech to Congress

21. President Obama’s message to the nation Tuesday night was plain and unequivocal: The era of bashing government is over. —E.J. Dionne Jr. commenting on Obama’s speech.

22. Well, the racism is coming from Rush Limbaugh. It’s taking root in Oklahoma —Bill Maher (starts at 2:37)

23. I believe that Mr. Spencer has accurately described the disease, but has badly missed on the remedy. The truth is – There is no remedy. We are at the end. Period. –Stuart Woods commenting on The Coming Evangelical Collapse at Pyromaniacs.

24. [Michael]Phelps is a Great American Hero, just like John Kerry!—securpo commenting on the Star Tribune.

25.If it wasn’t for articulate conservatives like Ann Coulter, both the Republican Party and the country would be in even worse shape than they are now, for there are extremely few articulate Republican politicians who can make the case for any principle.–Thomas Sowell

26. This president has inherited the most difficult first 100 days of any president, I would argue, including Franklin Roosevelt. –Joe Biden

27. Commenting on the Obamas’ marriage, “Only now are we discovering what a functioning marriage between equals actually looks like.”–Stacy Schiff

28. But it seems like ever since—well, I want to say ever since the Obamas got elected, it’s all sex all the time.–Susannah Breslin

29. Do parents still hit their kids? Yes, they do. It’s called “spanking”–Tony Jones

30. The non-existence of God is for me not an obstacle but a precondition to believing in God.–Klaas Hendrikse

31. Abortion is a blessing and our work is not done.–The Rev. Dr. Katherine Ragsdale

32. Michelle Obama’s warm touch with queen draws gasps–CNN

33. If Christian and religious Liberals take over and begin to dominate the theology of Evangelical Christianity, then Democracy is doomed.—Blue Collar Todd

34. The Republican Party is the only thing standing in the way of Democrats taking over our churches and dictating what are the acceptable State sanctioned ways to be a Christian.–Blue Collar Todd

35. You’re surrounded by fellow patriots—individuals who embrace the concepts like lower taxes, smaller government, and freedom for every individual—I’m talking about State’s Rights! – Texas Gov. Rick Perry (see video)

36. The politicizing of faith in such a partisan way is always a theological mistake.—Jim Wallis posting on a blog called “God’s Politics”

37. I’m hopeful. I think the law is on our side—Norm Coleman

38. The Shack contains terribly wrong concepts about God. Plain and simple. If you think it doesn’t, then you’re well on your way to accepting the image of the Christa on the cross In a few years, you’ll be hanging her up in your church..–Mary Kassian

39. But it’s fair to give the new kids on the block a chance to get their learner’s permits first.– Katie Couric

40. The Abusive Violent Husband god is not a straw man. There is a true believer hiding in a cave on the Afghan-Pakistan border somewhere.—Tim commenting on The New Christians

41. Even President Obama holds the intolerant and bigoted view that marriage should be reserved for a man and a woman.–Emma Ruby-Sachs

42. I get a chance to play for a great organization, I’m excited–Matthew Stafford

43. I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing’ and the people – we the people – are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country.–Michele Bachmann

44. I find it interesting that it was back in the 1970s that the swine flu broke out then under Democrat President Jimmy Carter. And I’m not blaming this on President Obama, I just think it is an interesting coincidence. —Michele Bachmann

45. Bush, blame everything on Bush by Sharon Osbourne

46. I believe Mrs. Obama’s “Mom-in-Chief” image was created more by Obama image-makers David Axelrod et. al. to soften her into a first lady Americans could love.–Bonnie Erbe

47. The Republican Party is an oppressed minority.–Rush Limbaugh.

48. Mothers deserving of honor are handed cards and taken to lunch, when songs of praise should instead be offered to the glory of God.”—Al Mohler

49. Our family has a history of heart conditions. My brother had a heart attack in his late 40’s, my step-dad died of a heart attack.—Roger Clemens

50. Violent and conspiratorial talk is not something limited to fringe low-wattage radio stations and secret publications; one only need tune in to Fox News’ Glenn Beck to hear the rhetoric and conspiracy theories that inspired Timothy McVeigh.”–DailyKos

51. In a way Obama is standing above the country, above the world. He’s sort of GOD. He’s going to bring all different sides together.–Evan Thomas.

52. I really don’t clarify things that are incorrect because I literally could stand at a press conference all day long and clarify… It’s really not my job to comment on erroneous things.” —Brad Childress

53. And at this point, whatever dividing line there was between mainstream conservatism and the black-helicopter crowd seems to have been virtually erased. —Paul Krugman

54. With Mr. Obama’s unbelievably ballyhooed address in Cairo Thursday to what he calls “the Muslim world” (hereafter known as “the Speech”), there is mounting evidence that the president not only identifies with Muslims, but actually may still be one himself.–Frank J. Gaffney Jr

55. Asked if he has been able to speak to President Obama he said, “Them Jews ain’t going to let him talk to me.”–Jeremiah Wright.

56. Being president, by contrast, suits him much better. He has not lapsed into his old ambivalence. He is intellectually engaged by sculpting history.–Maureen Dowd

57. The New Testament does not teach anywhere that every individual believer is to be involved actively in evangelism. —T. David Gordon

58. On this Father’s Day, the American public should proudly note that our president takes his personal role as father (and spouse) as seriously as he does his job as father of the country.–Jennifer Weiss

59. But we can only hope that fathers and spouses everywhere will be thinking “What Would Obama Do?” as they navigate through the murky waters of parenthood and family.
Jennifer Weiss

60. I have always hesitated when my colleagues rush to pronounce final judgment on events thousands of miles away [like Iran’s election] about which we know very little. —Ron Paul

61. Every single Iranian is valuable. Government is a service to all.–Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

62. Call me crazy but the ideal ticket for Republicans in 2012 would be Chuck Norris for President and Bill Cosby, Vice-President.–Crazy Right Wing Blogger.

63. It’s almost like a crucifixion, in terms of the cross you have to bear. We reap the fruits of the resurrection, in terms of the power that emanates from [Jackson’s] sacrifice. He sacrificed his childhood because he loved us so. He didn’t just entertain us, he sustained us.–Cornel West

64. Actually, I was thinking that if there’s any bad fruit, it stems from the mode of thinking provided by Maureen Dowd and Keith Olbermann. And, of course, Peggy Noonan.–Truth Unites… and Divides commenting on Between Two Worlds.


65.
Our health care system is engineered, deliberately or not, to resist change. The people who pay for it — you and I — often don’t realize that they’re paying for it. —David Leonhardt

66.“Purpose” conjures up images of fanaticism. Once people convince themselves that they have been put on Earth as instruments in some divine plan, there seems to be no limit to the horrors they are willing to commit to carry out that plan.
Robert Park

67.Sarah, who was once a blazingly confident media darling, came across as aggrieved, paranoid and press-loathing in her new role as bizarre babe-at-large, a Nixon with hair extensions ranting about “American apologetics,” which sounds like a cross between apologists and Dianetics.–Maureen Dowd.

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