Preposterous Statements of March, 2009

I am in the process of collecting the most preposterous statements I read on blogs and newspapers. At the end of the year a bracket will be formed and and a poll devised for YOU the readers to vote on. If you would like to nominate a preposterous statement, leave it the comments with a link.

March was a sparse month for preposterous statements, but the few we found were of exceptional quality. I think March will be a definitive month for the preposterous statement nomination process, because this month’s have set a benchmark for the level of preposterousness needed to make a run for the championship. Let the absurdity begin!

22. Well, the racism is coming from Rush Limbaugh. It’s taking root in Oklahoma —Bill Maher (starts at 2:37)

What? Just Oklahoma? What about Texas, Mississippi, Wyoming, Colorado, Kentucky, or Alabama? Watch out Sooners! You are becoming more racist because Rush Limbaugh is on the air!

23. I believe that Mr. Spencer has accurately described the disease, but has badly missed on the remedy. The truth is – There is no remedy. We are at the end. Period. –Stuart Woods commenting on The Coming Evangelical Collapse at Pyromaniacs.

With the end of evangelicalism will come the apocalypse. Let there be no hope. Let the sick die and the children go hungry, because The Reformation is over!

24. [Michael]Phelps is a Great American Hero, just like John Kerry!—securpo commenting on the Star Tribune.

And just like John Kerry he got baked out of his mind.

25.If it wasn’t for articulate conservatives like Ann Coulter, both the Republican Party and the country would be in even worse shape than they are now, for there are extremely few articulate Republican politicians who can make the case for any principle.–Thomas Sowell

Ah yes, where would the country be without being involved in two wars, a deep recession, depleting natural resources, and the endless stream of vitriolic books entitled with one word depicting a blond bombshell on the cover? I bet McCain would be president

26. This president has inherited the most difficult first 100 days of any president, I would argue, including Franklin Roosevelt. –Joe Biden

Of any president? Move over Abraham Lincoln! Obama has got you by a mile!

27. This concept of truth de-motivates us by suggesting that “truth” can not change – it can only be discovered.–Brad Cecil

Has this guy ever heard of science?

27. Commenting on the Obamas’ marriage, “Only now are we discovering what a functioning marriage between equals actually looks like.”–Stacy Schiff

Not before the Obamas has the world ever seen a functioning marriage between equal partners!

28. But it seems like ever since—well, I want to say ever since the Obamas got elected, it’s all sex all the time.–Susannah Breslin

Change has come to America, baby!

Past Preposterous Statements:

1. When more women are out about their atheism, it will help other women to be confident in their views. And when that gender shift starts to happen, all of the single atheist men and women will have us to thank when they find their life partner at one of our events. –Crystal Dervetski of Minnesota Atheists

2. Since I am a “five-pointer” and a “conservative,” I live with some suspicion among my bretheren. —Tim Sturch commenting on Challies.com

3. [Tom] Daschele is a [perpetrator] and victim of the system, which Christian professionals help enable. —Joe Carson commenting on The New Christians

4. A failure to act, and act now, will turn crisis into a catastrophe. —Barack Obama on passing the stimulus package.

5. “The symbolism of the delay suggested that Obama intends to continue to poach constituencies that were once reliably Republican.”– E.J. Dionne praising, as an act of bipartisan outreach, the one-day delay of Obama’s executive order to end the ban on funding abortions abroad.

6. I want God to hate me like a man does… —Mark Nikirk from the BHT commenting on feminist theology.

7. You can’t help laughing at a goodly number of the gags. —Doug Geivett on reasons to like “Pink Panther 2”

8. I think soon the Obama Administration will start punishing those who do good and rewarding evil.–Blue Collar Todd commenting on Between Two Worlds.

9. Ignoring Facebook friends and promoting terrorism might seem like a strange connection, but hear me out. Both attitudes are based on the same self-centered attitude.–Julie Clawson from One Hand Clapping.

10. For many people, economic recovery means “getting back to where we were a few months or years ago.” That means recovering our consumptive, greedy, unrestrained, undisciplined, irresponsible, and ecologically and socially unsustainable way of life.–Brian McLaren

11. There are many reasons why VHS is vastly superior to DVD…–Adam Omelianchuk posting on 20 Times Around the Block.

12. In this week’s town hall meetings, President Obama demonstrated an important aspect of his office: Pastor-in-Chief.–Diana Butler Bass posting on God’s Politics.

13. I feel like I can serve the people in a good way now because I have all kinds of insights that virtually no one has. —Rod Blagojevich

14.“I know bipartisanship when I see it.”–Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina

15. The problem with evangelicalism is the fact that a great majority of them are not saved. (like Oprah)–Louis commenting on JesusCreed.com

16. If we do not have an economic recover package 500 million Americans lose their jobs. —Nancy Pelosi

17. Until you’ve . . . eaten with a chimp and bathed with a chimp, you don’t know a chimp–Sandra Herold quoted in the New York Post.

18. This blog post killed a three year old little boy. —Julie Clawson posting on One Hand Clapping.

19. Whether it was the religious leaders who paid Judas 30 pieces of silver to deliver up our Savior, or the German clergy who found hope in the visage of Germany’s new leader named Hitler and who refused to decry his slaughter of the Jews, or whether it was the Orthodox clergy in Russia who worked, hand in hand, with the KGB to round up believers worshiping in apartments who obeyed God rather than men, or whether it is the emerging left apostates who cheerlead the most virulently pro-child killing President in US history, they are all the same underneath.–Ingrid Schlueter

20. “As soon as I took office, I asked this Congress to send me a recovery plan by Presidents Day that would put people back to work and put money in their pockets, not because I believe in bigger government — I don’t.–Barack Obama’s speech to Congress

21. President Obama’s message to the nation Tuesday night was plain and unequivocal: The era of bashing government is over. —E.J. Dionne Jr. commenting on Obama’s speech.