Preposterous Statements of February, 2009

I am in the process of collecting the most preposterous statements I read on blogs and newspapers. At the end of the year a bracket will be formed and and a poll devised for YOU the readers to vote on. If you want to nominate a preposterous statement for February, leave it the comments.

February was a great month for preposterous statements. We had the continuing antics of one disgraced governor from Illinois, lots of “hope” coming out of the mouths of our politicians, absurd commentary coming from our lovely religious-right (as well as the religious left), and some very bizarre t-shirts you would never wear in public. Enjoy!

6. I want God to hate me like a man does… —Mark Nikirk from the BHT commenting on feminist theology.

I really don’t think we want a God to hate like a man, or anyone for that matter.

7. You can’t help laughing at a goodly number of the gags. —Doug Geivett on reasons to like “Pink Panther 2”

Yes we can!

8. I think soon the Obama Administration will start punishing those who do good and rewarding evil.–Blue Collar Todd commenting on Between Two Worlds.

Give them bailouts to the terrorists!

9. Ignoring Facebook friends and promoting terrorism might seem like a strange connection, but hear me out. Both attitudes are based on the same self-centered attitude.–Julie Clawson from One Hand Clapping.

To all of you who have not honored my friend request: you support terrorism.

10. For many people, economic recovery means “getting back to where we were a few months or years ago.” That means recovering our consumptive, greedy, unrestrained, undisciplined, irresponsible, and ecologically and socially unsustainable way of life.–Brian McLaren

Actually, I think it means “getting back to having a job and not being unemployed” but we’ll just keep cheering the recession on, shall we? How low can you go!

11. There are many reasons why VHS is vastly superior to DVD…–Adam Omelianchuk posting on 20 Times Around the Block.

I’ve always loved that one.

12. In this week’s town hall meetings, President Obama demonstrated an important aspect of his office: Pastor-in-Chief.–Diana Butler Bass posting on God’s Politics.

When is he going to do an altar call?

13. I feel like I can serve the people in a good way now because I have all kinds of insights that virtually no one has. —Rod Blagojevich

Like what its like to sell a Senate seat to the highest bidder and get impeached for it. Blago for president!

14.“I know bipartisanship when I see it.”–Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-South Carolina

Except that he has never seen it.

15. The problem with evangelicalism is the fact that a great majority of them are not saved. (like Oprah)–Louis commenting on JesusCreed.com

Yeah, I hear that’s the same problem with the Yankees…

16. If we do not have an economic recover package 500 million Americans lose their jobs. —Nancy Pelosi

Wow. That’s a lot of Americans.

17. Until you’ve . . . eaten with a chimp and bathed with a chimp, you don’t know a chimp–Sandra Herold quoted in the New York Post.

Why would I want to know a chimp?

18. This blog post killed a three year old little boy. —Julie Clawson posting on One Hand Clapping.

That’s it. I’m calling the police!

19. Whether it was the religious leaders who paid Judas 30 pieces of silver to deliver up our Savior, or the German clergy who found hope in the visage of Germany’s new leader named Hitler and who refused to decry his slaughter of the Jews, or whether it was the Orthodox clergy in Russia who worked, hand in hand, with the KGB to round up believers worshiping in apartments who obeyed God rather than men, or whether it is the emerging left apostates who cheerlead the most virulently pro-child killing President in US history, they are all the same underneath.–Ingrid Schlueter

Lenin, Hitler, Judas, Obama… yeah, that sounds about right.


20.
“As soon as I took office, I asked this Congress to send me a recovery plan by Presidents Day that would put people back to work and put money in their pockets, not because I believe in bigger government — I don’t.–Barack Obama’s speech to Congress

Spending 800 billion dollars on the government says otherwise me boy!

21. President Obama’s message to the nation Tuesday night was plain and unequivocal: The era of bashing government is over. —E.J. Dionne Jr. commenting on Obama’s speech.

No more bashing government? How is this guy going to keep his job?

Honorable Mention (things that are preposterous, but not quite statements):

1.

Words fail me.

2. The founder of an upstate New York TV station aimed at countering Muslim stereotypes has been arrested on suspicion of killing his wife, who was beheaded, authorities said. —Deborah Brunswick and LaNeice Collins reporting for CNN.

Oh dear. Those poor stereotypes.

Past Preposterous Statements:

1. When more women are out about their atheism, it will help other women to be confident in their views. And when that gender shift starts to happen, all of the single atheist men and women will have us to thank when they find their life partner at one of our events. –Crystal Dervetski of Minnesota Atheists

2. Since I am a “five-pointer” and a “conservative,” I live with some suspicion among my bretheren. —Tim Sturch commenting on Challies.com

3. [Tom] Daschele is a [perpetrator] and victim of the system, which Christian professionals help enable. —Joe Carson commenting on The New Christians

4. A failure to act, and act now, will turn crisis into a catastrophe. —Barack Obama on passing the stimulus package.

5. “The symbolism of the delay suggested that Obama intends to continue to poach constituencies that were once reliably Republican.”– E.J. Dionne praising, as an act of bipartisan outreach, the one-day delay of Obama’s executive order to end the ban on funding abortions abroad.

Nominate your own in the comments below!

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11 thoughts on “Preposterous Statements of February, 2009

  1. No, I don’t want to get on Twitter. Too many Internet things to keep up with as it is. That’s part of the reason why I am not on BHT anymore.

  2. Dana says:

    #20 is so true… John McCain is tweeting a top ten list every day of all the things the 800 is going toward and the majority of them are all big money for government work.

  3. Doug Geivett says:

    Thanks for the free press, ochuck. I guess you saw the movie. Sounds like your guffaw-generator is insensitive to the quirky.

    • Jon Larson says:

      The idea for the preposterous statements bracket is ripped off of the Common Man Dan Cole of KFAN. Way to keep it fresh.

  4. DannyG says:

    Way to rip off the greatest min-… funniest dud-… entertaining radio broadcaster in the last 13, 14 years!

  5. ted says:

    Realistic Guy,

    He has given complete credit to the common man on the first on of his preposterous statements only saying that he was going to expand it beyond just the sports world. Maybe a bit more research before slamming a actually incredibly intelligent guy. As much as Adam talks you guys up you are an incredible disappointment.

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